here&now&today

about three months ago, i found myself laying on a bed in a sauna-like hotel room. there were three other people of the room, and none of them wanted to wake up to a naked mark. i threw the off of me, but it didn't seem to do anything. tossing and turning only made beads of sweat arise on my brow, and i wasn't drunk enough to think about passing out. it was painful.

so, i got out of bed, walked into the bathroom, and, for the first time in my life, ran equal amounts of hot and cold water in a shower. i stepped in and was surprised at how comfortable i was.

throwing on only a pair of boxers, i sat on a windowsill and attentively listened to the street three stories below me. silence. nothing. the only thing i could hear was the crackling burn of thin paper every time i took a drag of the cigarette perched on my lips.


i had never been so comfortable in my life.

no matter what anyone tells you...






there's no place in the world more beautiful than venice.


stop breathing, lose a limb , cut out my heart, pollute my lung, drive my head directly into a brick wall. i'd give it all for one last smell of saltwater across a canal, one last sunset between sand-colored buildings, one last blinding streak of light as it glistens off that green water, one last bead of sweat swiped on my wrist as i desperately listen for something, anything, to pinch me and wake me from those sublime dreams on that windowsill.

venice. i'd die in venice.