oh, lord.

so, senior project.

i've spent the last three days staring at page 34 of my novella, and i can't get a damn thing done. i don't know why, either. i've set up a really interesting world with a really interesting character, and i know exactly what i want to do and how i want to do it, but something's just not clicking. can't really figure it out.

not going to lie: a lot of people have read it, and i don't mean writers, i mean people, have read it, and so far, i've gotten really good reviews. my mother and my father have both passed it on to family members and friends, and people seem to be raving about it. all of the acclaim should probably be making my head grow (and in some ways, it is. if ordinary readers are enjoying it, i do realize it's probably publishable), but it's doing the opposite, in fact; i'm petrified. and i don't know why. now, a bunch of people have these expectations, and i'm worried that i won't fulfill them.

in reality, i know it's a mute point, because this is an issue i typically deal with and, once i relax, can overcome. but, considering i have a deadline to meet at some point this week, i really need to find a way to get over it.

i did, however, just see that there's a freshman here working on National Novel Writing Month, and she has written about 7,000 words of fantasy work that i imagine to be terrible. considering that i 1) hate being shown up, 2) want to kill all the freshmen at my school, 3) despise fantasy writing, and 4) am the fucking man, seeing that she might catch up to me might be enough of a kick in the ass to get me working.

anyway, back to Hagherman, Colorado.